I feel like such a bitch, things are great offline...but online? No. John and I hardly talk anymore.When we do it is just hey, what's up? So it is not conforting or fun. Actually it is quite odd. And then I knew this was going to happen to me and Miranda. Last night we were talking about html, and me getting a new design for diaryland. But I said I wanted to do the html. I know she has no faith in me. She made me a whole new diary, made by her...It is nice and all, but not what I asked for. I wanted it by me. Then she goes off telling me stuff I do not care about," It takes ages to master html" ok...I have time. What do you think I am, dumb? You are two years younger than me, would you like to quit rubbing your smartness in my face? Because it does not taste very good. How can I actually be writing and thinking these words? We are friends.Friends don't o this. I guess I am some friend, huh? Well, she does not have to be like that anyhow. And then I told her about my idea, that I would study the html from someone else's site that gives it away, like lex's or something. Then I will do my own design. But oh no. That would be wrong. Just the other day she told me how "all great html-ers copy and change. But then if I decides to do something, not even that, it is stupid. "I spend my hard time doing designs and so do they, and you are just going to rip them off?" So I just shut up and say sorry and that it was wrong of me to think that. Well, why do I have to let a nearly 13 year old trample over me? I do not want to always cave in. And another online person, Em. I have not talked to her for about 2 days, usually we talk every night, all the time. But it is just because we have not been online the same times for a couple days. But the thing is, I feel like we have a barrier. We pour our hearts out about some things, but some other things are still hush hush. I love all of these friends, Em, Mir, and John. But I just needed to vent a bit.

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