"brance!

this is mica.... i was just wondering... you know.... what the hell is going on? i mean fuck. you, mister, went from being the perfect best boyfriend... for me, at least...... to being a horrible horrible friend. i mean my god..... you have a problem with lying, you know? you should get that checked out. i mean... one, you tell me that you love me, turning my world upside down, and then fucking DUMP ME two weeks later. you dont live me, you lied your ass off. thennn.... you tell me you want to be friends with me, making me think life may be a little bit more bearable... you have this fucking great long really good conversation with me one nite..... then DONT CALL AGAIN!! and you promised you would! for three weeks you "forgot" to call, or stop by or whatever it was you were going to do. fucker. and then for some dumb reason, you fucking tell me "i forgot", instead of having the decency to make up some lie and not make me feel like a total unwanted loser.

...so yeah. yeah that's you. bad person. right now. for me. to me. yeah. i mean do you have any friends left? do any of them want to hang out with you? i mean, i would not hang out with you if i heard about what you did to mica. me. not nice. and i HOPE YOU KNOW... im moving on, okay? moving on. im starting to finally accept that you dont want to be my friend. which i actually dont really understand. i mean you were plenty ready to FUCK ME. quite. a. few. times. you were very happy to do that. and thats a funny subject to.... fucking. HA! you lost your--

(tom inturrupts)

....... what? fuck you tom, you made me forget. what was i saying?? grr. okay i dont remmeber why i called ...oh yeah bad friend. bad job. ...god damn, you know, i was even a really really easy girlfriend. i was the BEST girlfriend. no nagging, just there when you needed me or wanted me. i wasn't a hassle, we never fought. if anything we argued over which ice cream flavor to share. and this whole virginity thing, i was easy with you. i didnt laugh when i found out i was your first time i thought it was cute, and i did everything i could to make it easy and better for you. i was fucking GREEAAAT and you better fucking know it. and im not asking for much as a friend, okay? just that you actually make a fucking EFFORT. since i was the ONLY one to make an effort, as your girlfriend, for two or three fucking months after your little "change". my god.

............ wait, was that why i called? oh yeah i think it was. and i was just kind wondering if you were planning on making an effort. just in case. and you know, i really dont think that you will ever get----"

(and then it cut me off......)

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epilogue:

we get a call back five minutes later from a guy named brent.

"who was that? what the hell was that?? hahahahahahahahaha"

so it turns out, that for some dumb drunken reason, i went through the saved numbers on tom's phone, and decided that "brent" was close enough to "brance".

(now i can listen to it over and over if i want. he gave me the code for that message.)

so now i have a great story to tell everyone.

brent now wants to go out with me. he thinks i'm funny. and brance has no idea about any of this.

i'm not sure if those are good things, though...

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