I wish I could say that I wasn't crying over you...longing to bleed over you once again. I wish I could say that you're just another person, who I'll learn to live without but I'm not particually sure about.

I always thought you'd be there forever...and you let me think that...you always acted like I was important...meant something and you were one of the few people that did...but you can't do that now, okaaay.

You know just how to crush me, don't you? I told you that I loved you...liked you like that...and you didn't turn away. No, what did you say? 'I will always love, you know matter what happens...' Well that was obviously untrue...and that kills me more than the way I long to bleed...you lied to me, and I never lie to you, and maybe that gets me into trouble but never problems with being honest. And of coarse, we musn't forget that only a few weeks ago you admitted that you liked me like that too...

So you do care, but you can't talk this through, you can't try and sort this. You can tell her, she's cool, I'll admit but you don't know her, she's just another random online friend but yet she gets to know all our buisiness...and I need to know our buisiness...

The saddest thing is the fact that I'm too tired to fight for this...to depressed to care and I can't even phone you because talking has become an impossible task...yeh...and I'm listening to Tori Amos because she is you...and I like it...why could I not hear what I hear now before...because she ruined all of this, but maybe she could sort this now...

I am confused, but I'll never stop longing for you and loving you...xx...I'm not angry, more confused, scared...teary...

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