Do you ever rehearse that speech in your mind? The one where you say all the things you've always wanted to say to that one person who hurt you so? Maybe it's not a person in particular but a group or an ideology that gets under your skin. Perhaps it's just a person or thing that annoys you slightly. Well here's your place to post that hate mail for all the world to see. More...
fresh RAGE old RAGE rage RULES rage MASTER rage HOST RAGE at us! RAGE NOW!
3:30 p.m.
2002-02-28
Dear man that I still love, but am trying not to throttle

Look,

I admit I was harsh last night when I was ridiculing you for your driving. I even commented on that last night. I am sorry that I was so mean, but I must admit a lot of it was weighted on the fact that I feel like every word I say is under extreme scrutiny from you. That is also why I said that you were the reason we argue all the time, which was uncalled for.

I know I am headstrong and I do not take criticism well. I also know there are times that I mistake things to be true when they are not. This does not make me an ogre. This does not give you the right to interrogate me when I make a statement on anything at all. Regardless of something I may consider fact, I cannot even state an opinion unless I am prepared to be interrupted several times, condescended to and insulted. This is not a new topic. I have spoken to you many times about this throughout our past. I am doing what I can to make it livable between us but you have to allow me to get frustrated.

The man who is supposed to be loving me and accepting me for what I am is overtly critical and often cruel to me regarding even the simplest of discussions. You seek for me to be wrong in every word I say and I find entire situation exhausting. I don't like having to mentally construct a debate on why I think that squirrels run a across the street the way they do when cars come because you will stop me and question me on why I have come to every conclusion. I also don't want to have to go deeper and make sure that each factor I am drawing a conclusion on is notorized by seven scientists and documented in every encyclopedia. It is nonsense. Back off, you don't know everything and it is not your purpose in life to prove me wrong EVERY SINGLE time I am.

You spend a few months reading about cars on the internet and then you have the balls to laugh in my face when I state an opinion based on a lifetime of experience. Even if I was incorrect I deserve more respect than a condescending chortle like I am a fucking preschooler saying that tires are made out of cheese.

I'm begging you to please get off your high horse and stop regarding me like some toddler with down syndrome. I know I have flaws and I am wrong at times, I do not need you to repeatedly rub my face in it every hour.

You are angry that I dared lecture you on something that is a perfectly reasonable topic. You drive like a maniac. You put your car, your life, and your passengers lives in danger. I have every right to comment to you about it when I am scared to be without a seatbelt in the car with you even when we are just pulling out of a parking spot. I don't have a right to portray it in the manner that I did and I am sorry. I understand your desire to drive your car like it was meant to be.

I respect that you spent a good amount of money on that car to enjoy it and you deserve to do so. My attitude about it is that you take things too far. The fact is, I don't have to ride into work with you every day, I have my own car that is in working order. You've done me a favor by driving me around while my car was out of commission and I thank you for it. From now on I will drive myself into work and you are welcome to come with me if you so desire.

This will also resolve the issue regarding lateness. I'm not going to kiss your ass anymore about my morning routine. We both know I have a lot of trouble being civil at all on most mornings so a lot of my reaction this morning was me being a bitch because it was morning and me being overly defensive because I feel like I am constantly under scrutiny. We also both know I am chronically late. Starting now, you don't ever have to wait for me in the morning. Just leave whenever you want to.

I don't want to argue with you about this all day which is why I've blocked you. I've got work I can focus on and I honestly am just not in the mood for it.

I think it would be best for both of us if we stay away from eachother. I will be taking care of my lunch on my own and I can get a ride out of work on my own. I need this space.

-Me

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