I hate being too scared to face up to my potential.. I hate knowing that I need to be better before I grow old and regret what my life is/has become. I hate having a problem that I can't force away by will, or by medications.. I hate my lack of intelligence, especially when I live in an information age. I hate being so vacuous, clueless, and frightened. I know I should take steps to correct it. I have issues, I am going to die one day, I am terrified, I want to love and live, but the first step frightens me so.. I know there should be no 'but', but....

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