Do you ever rehearse that speech in your mind? The one where you say all the things you've always wanted to say to that one person who hurt you so? Maybe it's not a person in particular but a group or an ideology that gets under your skin. Perhaps it's just a person or thing that annoys you slightly. Well here's your place to post that hate mail for all the world to see. More...
fresh RAGE old RAGE rage RULES rage MASTER rage HOST RAGE at us! RAGE NOW!
10:46 p.m.
2002-09-01
A war amongst friends

You play all high and mighty goodie-two shoes, but you have so many faces, and they aren't that nice.

You like to call yourself Christian even, though you hardly act it.

We were friends. We were really good friends.

What happened?

One day you decided you were better than me?

Well I'm sorry if I'm not as pretty as you, an skinny as you, I'm sorry for whatever it is you think I did to you.

You won't even tell me! How petty and stupid is that!?

I ask you what is the matter.

Nothing you tell me. Nothing

Bullshit.

Nathan, is it because of Nathan, because he thought you treated me like shit. That's why he acted the way he did to you sometimes, because he didn't like the way you treated me.

And its true, you were only friends with me when it was convenient for you.

And then one day you change your mind and leave me shut out.

I wouldn't hate it so much if I didn't have to see you where ever I go.

That our friends are mutual. I bet that you hate that you introduced me to them all anyways.

I hate the way you treat me, I deserve better than that. You make me feel like shit.

I don't like it, and there's shit all I can do about it too.

That's what makes it so frustrating. I've wanted to say this to you for months. Months. You made me so upset, you made me cry, or made me feel like I wanted to cry.

I hate that you've made it feel like a war between us, like we're competing for our friends' attention. And I really don't like when you deliberatly speak contonese to them just because you know i can't speak it.

Thanks.

real noble of you.

I've wanted to ask a hundred times, and you won't tell me.

You pretend so well too. You pretend so well that you're sad that Geoff is gone. Bullshit. YOu don't even talk anymore. You don't know him anymore. And you think you're better than me because of that? No, because there's something between us that can't be defined, not by you, and something you can't break, and you're on some level, so happy he's gone because then I've lost my ally, my strength and hope.

I felt really bad at being so happy when you were gone. I enjoyed it. I felt good, i felt happy, I didn't feel opressed or like shit, the way you always make me feel.

I suppose it's not you, "nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission" I suppose its true, but I let you into deep parts of myself, and I can't let that go to easily. You were a friend when I so really needed one, I can't thank-you enough for that, I can't thank-you enough for introducing me to these friends I have now. They are my world, and they couldn't of been if it hadn't been for you.

I feel like you regret that now, introducing me to all of them.

I make mistakes, and I'm sorry if one of them was to you.

But you make mistakes to, live up to it, and deal with it.

I don't want this petty shit anymore.

I'm sick of your high and mighty crap.

You make me not want to come anymore, you make me want to leave. I think you're upset that I've gotten so close to them, so close to people you admire but could never get close to because they wouldn't let you. Yes, they let me.

So you cling tighter and tighter to those few you have, as i cling tighter to mine, and if something doesn't happen soon, I'm afraid I;m going to do something I'll regret.

Becaues its not only you, its Bernice, always searching for your attention, and I don't understand it. And you use her, you use her to get to me.

It isn't working baby.

You've pissed me off, and I don't deal well with that, I've tried so hard to just overcome it, not think of it, I've thought of why you do it, why you act the way you do, and still, with everything I know, with you being the weaker one in not even admitting a problem...I can't deal with that.

I hate it when girls are like that, petty and stupid. Sure, I'm a girl, but when I'm mad at someone, upset with someone, whatever, for the most part, I tell them. I don't go beating around the bush.

I asked you point blank what was the matter.

Nothing you say, nothing, there's nothing, nothings changed.

Bullshit.

At least I can deal with it, you don't even have the guts to say it. Probably because you know its for a stupid reason.

Grow up will you?

Don't be seven.

I'm getting sick of it.

So sick of it.

I just don't want to deal with it anymore.

But I have to, every time I see you, which I fear, is way more than I could ever want.

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