Dear Mom and Dad,

Thanks for always being there for me. I just love it when you show up at the things I want you to and help me out at the times I need you to.

Oh, wait. You don't. You both just like to think you are.

Wake up call, Dad. I know I'm not the son you want me to be. But you can be glad to know that you're not the dad I wanted either. You never talk to me. I learned about sex from TV. The damn TV, dad! You were never there for me growing up, and now I'm an agnst-ridden teenager that hates life. You've helped so much. Thanks Pop.

Mom, you always judge me. You have to know everything about me. You nitpick at everything. Is it that big of a deal if I don't want to cut my hair? Is it that big of a deal if I don't wear a belt? Is it that big of a deal who I'm hanging out with and what I'm doing?

You both are lucky. I could be a crack-smoking, car-jacking, sexually-active teenager. But I know better. You two didn't teach me though. I learned all my values from other parents and other kids.

You both didn't help me at all. So just stay off my back. You weren't involved in my life before, so why try now?

Leave me alone,

Your son

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